Spiritually Disconnected

Spiritually Disconnected

For about a few months this year, I felt myself losing connection with God. I did not “feel” like doing devotion, and wouldn’t make the effort to go to church. I felt guilty. “God, you have done so much for me, and here I am reaping all the benefits of your glory but not praising your name.” I would do a devotion here and there but I just could not remain consistent. I realized I was allowing my guilt to make me overcompensate. So because I felt disconnected, I felt like I HAD to be extra during praise and worship at church, or HAD to volunteer at church. My motives were wrong.   

I felt embarrassed to share this with anyone. Growing up in a Christian household, I felt like I always saw my parents being so connected with God: devotion every day, church every weekend, etc. It was not like I was new to this following God thing, I had been doing it my entire life. I felt like I would be looked down upon. How do you go about telling someone that you just don’t feel spiritually connected? I did not know how to navigate myself back on track. 

During this time, I went through a lot of self-reflection. I prayed and asked God to rekindle the fire I once had burning in my heart for him. The journey with God is just what it is, a journey. I literally named tis section of my blog “Spiritual journey”. I came to the realization that there will not always be clear blue skies and happy days. But one thing will always remain, and that is the love God has for me. It’s so refreshing to know that even when I fall off course, he is there to lure me back in. 

I had to be honest with myself with what I was feeling and then I had to speak my honesty to him. I began simply trying to just read 1 verse a day to remind me of his holiness and grace. I listened to songs that reminded me of his faithfulness. I was devoted to restoring my relationship with God. 

Over the last few months, I have been able to become spiritually reconnected with him. Now I am finding new ways to engage myself in the word. Instead of just reading the verse of the day, I will read the whole chapter. I have also devoted time to choosing a book of the bible to study for the month. I’m not perfect, but I am trying and sometimes just trying is enough for the moment.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

As always, stay fabulous!

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